


To find somebody

by Midnightfalterings



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cloud Strife Needs a Hug, Don Corneo dies, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I just wanted Zack to see Cloud in The Dress lmao, Love Confessions, M/M, NO sexual assault or non-con i dont fw that, Reunions, Touch-Starved, Trans Cloud Strife, Trans Male Character, Zack Fair Being Zack Fair, Zack Fair Lives, side Aerti, smut in chapter 2, trans author, wall market chapter but different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24395182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnightfalterings/pseuds/Midnightfalterings
Summary: Working as the personal bodyguard to Don Corneo crosses almost all of Zack’s lines. Yet, when Leslie approaches him with a familiar look of grief in his eyes, necklace in hand and a request for help, Zack isn’t able to say no.Wall Market arc but with some major divergences.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 10
Kudos: 260





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I said it in the tags but I wanna reiterate that there is NO sexual assault/non-con/dub-con in this fic, it made me really uncomfortable in canon so I just took the dial and cranked it down to a 0.5 ... Corneo's just kinda there to die.  
> But yeah, I was watching the Wall Market chapter and my clack brainrot was like "Teehee what if Zack showed up" and I figured Zack deserves to see Cloud in the blue dress.  
> Also Cloud is trans cuz I'm trans and I think he's neat. It's not really explicitly stated in chapter 1 but ya know

Zack has a few hard lines for working as a mercenary.

He will not harm innocents.

He will not kidnap anyone.

He will not do anything that could incite direct spotlight from Shinra.

He will not kill unless necessary.

He will not help commit crimes.

Working as the personal bodyguard to Don Corneo crosses almost all of Zack’s lines. Yet, when Leslie approaches him with a familiar look of grief in his eyes, necklace in hand and a request for help, Zack isn’t able to say no.

“The Don will pay you, I’m afraid I don’t have the gil, but I heard you’re the honest type.” Zack grimaces, arms crossed over his chest. He’d been enjoying a night off in Wall Market at a bar, taking slow sips of his beer as he watched people go by - if he’s hyper vigilant for a certain blonde head of spikes then that’s his business - when Leslie found him. 

“How long would it be? I don’t think I could pretend to put up with that guy for long.” Zack leans forward, propping his arms on the table as he grabs his pint.

“Only until the next audition, a week at most. I just need you to help get the next girls out of there and find out where the others go.” He looks down at his hands, at the necklace held between his fingers. And Zack, Zack’s a sucker. Maybe if he were harder and more bitter he would be able to turn Leslie down, but he isn’t and he knows how Leslie feels all too well.

“Yeah, okay.” Zack agrees, turning to look away from Leslie’s look of relief. He figures if anything he’ll be saving a few girls from Corneo and at the most he might be able to swipe information that could point him towards Cloud. Afterall, the Don has eyes everywhere, and he’s loaded.

Damn, Corneo is lucky the results and pay of the job are worth it. Zack clenches his jaw as the Don’s shrill voice carries through the room once again. He’d hired Zack almost immediately, the Mako glow in his eyes and the buster sword at his back qualifications enough for him. The Don hasn’t shut up about having ex-SOLDIER muscle backing him ever since. Zack’s had to politely remind him a few times that his contract says ‘bodyguard’ and not ‘enforcer’. He shares a long-suffering look with Leslie who stands at the door.

“Sam’s girl is here. We’re waiting on Andrea and Madam M’s picks.” Leslie informs the Don, a stiffness in his back that Zack recognizes as concealed anger. “The colosseum matches will start in about an hour.” The Don dismisses Leslie with a rude, dismissive gesture, focusing on a message on his phone.

Zack has spent mere days in the grand mansion of Don Corneo, he’s come to hate every last tacky bit of it. It’s a place that could be grand and gorgeous but the inhabitants sour every bit of elegance held within the walls.

Zack - if he’s being completely honest - deserves a fucking medal. For what? He doesn’t know but he deserves at least  _ something  _ for not having chopped Corneo in half already. All he does is blather on and on about how highly he regards himself and how he owns Wall Market. The worst part was when Zack realized his frequent phone calls were with Shinra. He could just barely hear the voices on the other side of the calls, mostly drowned out by Corneo’s god-awful malicious giggles. Corneo, thankfully, hasn’t said anything on the calls about Zack, about an ex-SOLDIER in his employment. Zack doesn’t think he could hold himself back from strangling his ugly ass if he ever does.

Zack stands behind the Don, arms crossed and is back, sword and all, leaned against the wall. Scotch and Kotch’s grating voices slither in from the hallway where they’re headed out to the colosseum. Another two Zack would gladly kick to kingdom come. He doesn’t think he was this irritable and bitter as a SOLDIER but he’s also never dealt with these sorts unless they were on the other end of his sword.

“Oh, you’ll love the colosseum tournament.” Corneo assures Zack, turning in his chair with a slimy grin. He eyes the buster sword on Zack’s back with a greedy gleam. “I should enter you as a contestant, maybe you can knock Sam down a peg.” He raises an eyebrow in question, although Zack knows it isn’t one.

“Hm.” He responds in a grunt, doing his best to keep himself from outright glaring at Corneo. His phone pings from his desk, prompting Corneo to spin back around, allowing Zack the freedom to sneer. Corneo cackles at whatever message he’s received, kicking his legs up and almost knocking his office chair over. Zack’s hand shoots out to steady the back of it, keeping the Don from falling at his feet.

“Madam M is submitting a contestant, this should be fun.” He wiggles his fingers on his chin before twirling his sorry excuse of a moustache like a sunday morning cartoon villain.

Zack zones out for the following hour. It’s not like a threat could get in without Zack noticing and even if it did...he’s about sixty percent sure he’d just let it kill Corneo.

As per usual his thoughts move to blonde hair and sky blue eyes, the ones that had been so heavily fogged over with Mako the last time he’d seen them.. He doesn’t even know how they got separated. It was like one moment he was carrying Cloud down the cliffs, hobbling from his injuries, just barely skirting the line of life threatening. As though the Shinra infantry had all had a shit day on their aim. Whatever cosmic event of karma had occurred, it kept Zack and Cloud from a gruesome fate within clear sight of their goal.

Then the next thing he knew he was waking up in Aerith’s church, next to the flower bed, with no Cloud to be found. It had been distressing to say the least.

He’s been wandering through the sector slums looking for merc work in hopes that something - fate, he guesses but he truly has no idea - will have their paths cross. But shit, it’s been just as stressful. He doesn’t know if Cloud woke up, if he fought through the Mako poisoning or if he was -

Nope. Not going there. He has to believe Cloud woke up. It’s the only thing getting him out of bed every morning. He wonders if Cloud is looking for him as well, if he remembers Zack through all the Mako. That thought’s almost depressing as the other one. He just hopes Cloud is safe, especially with AVALANCHE running around blowing up reactors and shit. He pities the poor bastards who think they can stick it to Shinra and come out the other side looking like the hero.

Shinra twists things. Zack, of all people, knows this. They make acts of activism into terrorism and they make destroying everything good look like doing your part as a citizen.

Angeal would give him a disappointed look. He’d ask where the puppy hero had gone to. And Zack wouldn’t have an answer. He thinks maybe his optimism and bright dreams died somewhere in Hojo’s lab, but he knows they didn’t. He’d still had something to fight for right by his side, someone to protect.

He thinks maybe it disappeared into god-knows-where along with Cloud.

“I gotta piss.” Zack says as he pushes himself off the wall. Corneo makes a dismissive noise and a wave of his hand as Zack steps around his desk toward the door. “Scream if you need anything.” Zack adds, mostly as a joke for himself. He steps into the round hall overlooking the empty entrance. Zack waits at the bottom step for a moment before Leslie opens the main front door, right on time, scoffing at something one of the other guys on door duty is saying. He meets Zack’s eyes as the door closes and jerks his head to the side, at a room off to the side of the bottom floor. Zack follows silently up until the door clicks shut behind them.

“Why can’t we just grab Sam’s girl and get her out now?” Zack asks, impatient.

“It would raise the alarms. We have to get all three out at the same time or it won’t work and we’ll just lose the other two.” Leslie’s hands are shaking as he shoves them into his jean pockets. He scoffs again, a sardonic and dark noise. “Can you believe people? Some dude showed up a bit ago trying to get his girlfriend into the audition.” Zack’s lip curls in disgust immediately.

“Fuck this entire sector.” Zack shakes his head. “Do you have a clear escape route yet?” Leslie gnaws at his lip and shakes his head, not meeting Zack’s eyes. “Okay. Just...Keep me updated. We want to make sure nothing goes horribly wrong, I’ll grab whatever girl the Don picks but the other two are your responsibility.” He sighs and runs a gloved hand through his hair. “I gotta get back.” He steps out of the room, leaving Leslie alone to plan the escape.

When he enters the Don’s office once again the TV is on and blaring, Corneo all but standing on his own chair in excitement.

“You’re just in time for the tournament.” He bares his teeth, eyes glued to the screen where Scotch and Kotch’s voices come through with welcomes. Zack moves to stand behind him once again, eyebrows raised at the screen.

A couple rounds come and go, mostly solo fighters against each other, he doesn’t pay much attention. They’re ameatuer scrap battles between fighters with no training, it’s messy and not at all Zack’s idea of entertainment.

“For our next match, we welcome two fighters - A young couple, no less!” Scotch makes a dramatic gesture with his arms.

“Talk about a bad date!” Kotch chimes in.

Zack scoffs. A kitschy gimmick to choose when going into team fighting.

“This is their first tournament!” Oof, it’s going to be one to avert his eyes from, then.

“A bad first date!”

“And most likely their last, inexperienced as they are - or are they?” Zack really doesn’t think it’s a good idea to put inexperienced fighters in a ring, not that Corneo would care.

He’s prepared to zone back out, maybe close his eyes for a bit when Scotch shatters his world.

“Give it up for Cloud and Aerith!”

Zack’s spine goes rigid and his eyes lock on the screen. The massive ring doors open to reveal two people. Two definitely Cloud and Aerith people.

_ Couple? _

The word sits wrong in Zack’s stomach but it’s the least of his worries. Cloud is awake. He’s awake and he looks  _ good _ . He looks like he's healthy, if not a bit alarmed at his current predicament. Zack would think he fully recovered from the Mako if it weren’t for the missing gleam from his eyes, the one that would flare to life when he let snarky comments fly. He has a massive sword on his back, almost as big as himself, it looks kind of like Zack’s buster sword but it’s thinner and files into a dual point at the end.

Aerith looks her usual lovely self, but that’s less of a surprise. Zack had stopped by her place to explain himself to Aerith and Elmyra before he’d taken off on his search for Cloud. But apparently Aerith was doing everything for him. He wonders for a panicked moment if he actually  _ told  _ Aerith who he was looking for, if she knows the guy she’s next to - and apparently on a date with? Zack’s still fuzzy on if that was a performance aspect or true - is the reason he does anything at all anymore, the reason he and Aerith split up.

He watches the match, nails biting into the palms of his hands through his gloves, and the next and the next. The matches in between Cloud and Aerith’s are filled with him carding through excuses to book it from mansion Corneo just to finally see Cloud again.

_ He’s right there. _ Zack laments silently. He’s so close but so out of reach. He’d never forgive himself if he bailed on Leslie, but he’d never forgive himself if he missed Cloud and lost him all over again. Just the thought of Cloud slipping through his fingers a third-or-so time had anxiety bubbling up in his chest, choking his airways and filling his head with rushing hum like an engine.

The last time he’d seen Cloud he’d been slowly coming to, eyes flickering, his feet barely moving along with Zack’s. But he’d been in Zack’s arms, safe from this bullshit.

Zack ignores Corneo’s hoots and hollers of excitement as Cloud and Aerith win a third match. He reaches forward and slams his hand down on a button.

“The house!! The house!!! Give them the house!!” He falls back in his chair with a grin wide enough to split his face.

Zack watches in horror as he realizes what ‘the house’ was. It’s a house. Like literally a fucking house. A house that roars and attacks, a sound loud enough that it rattles the floor beneath them even from the mansion. Zack steadies himself with a breath. It hasn’t been long enough since he woke up for Cloud to be recovered enough for this. From what Zack knows of Mako poisoning, he’s shocked Cloud’s even standing. The first few days after escaping Nibelhiem Zack had been stumbling and dizzy, stopping them every few hours to throw up. It had taken him a good couple weeks to feel confident supporting Cloud’s weight and almost an entire year to feel this close to his former state.

Zack watches with his breath caught in his lungs as Cloud and Aerith dodge undoubtedly fatal hits, throwing back hits that don’t seem to be making any difference. He closes his eyes with a flinching as the fight continues, a ball of fire hurtling past Cloud, nearly clipping his shoulder.

Zack feels like he’s chipped twenty years off his life when the fight concludes, the house - demon, whatever the fuck - collapses in on itself. Cloud immediately slumps over, holding his side, into Aerith’s arms. Zack feels a burst of warmth in his chest at the knowledge that Aerith is there to catch him tangling with a sinking cold at the fact that Zack isn’t there for him. The Don falls back in his chair with a disappointed huff and Zack nearly sees red.

“Bah!” Corneo turns the screen off, sitting from his desk and sending his chair hurtling backwards for Zack to catch once again. “I need to prepare for tonight.” He says it with a sniveling little giggle. He gestures for Zack to follow him down the hall towards the Don’s room. A room Zack has never actually been in, nor does he have any desire to see the inside of it. If he knows anything of Corneo he’d probably come face to face with a golden statue of the Don’s dick. He shudders at the thought as he turns to stand resolutely in front of the door. He tries to focus his Mako enhanced hearing literally anywhere other than behind him. The Don may pay well but not well enough for Zack to let himself be subjected to knowing anything he does behind closed doors by himself, much less hear it. He can hear the low noises of voices down on the main floor but he can’t pick out what’s being said. He fidgets with his gloves, unable to keep himself still. Angeal did always say he had too much energy for his own good.

The only thing that keeps him grounded is a running, loose list of things he’ll do when he finds and reunites with Cloud.

He’s taking Cloud on a proper date, that’s for sure. Well, he will if Cloud wants to. He used to be very sure that Cloud would just fall back into his arms, needing him like he had before, but now there’s a doubt sinking in. He figures he still has to try, though. Even if it’s a platonic date, he’ll take it. This is  _ Cloud _ , after all. Zack’s best friend. He can’t imagine a life without him.

\----

Cloud has decided that heels are truly the worst invention known to man. Even with Andrea’s arm wrapped around his waist he had felt like he might slip and crack his head open. Also the corset. He hates the corset as well. It’s awkward to move in and Aerith keeps giggling at him.

“It’s not funny.” He notes, with no small amount of chagrin, the evident pout in his voice. Aerith stiffles another round of giggles from behind her hand, green eyes sparkling at him as they walk side by side.

“It isn’t. You’re just very pretty, Cloud.” She tells him, batting her eyelashes innocently. He lets his head fall to the side with a dismayed sigh. “Tifa’s going to be so excited to see us.” Aerith claps her hands together with a small skip. Cloud has no idea how she does that since her heels are much higher than his and he’s barely walking as is.

“Yeah.” He says. Neither Tifa nor Aerith are ever going to let him live this experience down. He’s just glad Biggs and Wedge aren’t here to see it, or Barrett. Barrett would torment him relentlessly. Jessie would probably sneak photos to dangle in front of him for the next week and a half.

There’s a voice in the back of his head that keeps nudging at him as they walk from The Honey Bee Inn to Don Corneo’s mansion.

_ Zack, _ it says,  _ Zack would tease you as well. _

Cloud chokes down a bittersweet feeling of a faded memory, burnt around the edges, of Zack with an elbow against Cloud’s ribs, a fond taunt on his lips.

And then it fizzles right back out, a wall of static slamming down like a door shutting Cloud back out from pulling at that string of memories.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Leslie groans as they approach the door. He’s the only one at the door this time around. He sounds annoyed but his shoulders sag in what Cloud thinks might be relief. “Well, they said they had good picks to work with.” Leslie places his hand on the door to keep them from walking past him. “There’s a man on the inside. ex-SOLDIER, you’ll know him when you see him. Trust him.” Cloud recoils a bit and shares a look of confusion with Aerith. Apprehension fills his gut. He’s not really keen on dealing with another ex-SOLDIER, especially when he might attempt to stop them from breaking Tifa out.

Leslie opens the door, nodding them in. Cloud can feel eyes on him and it makes his skin crawl as they step into the grand entrance.

“Up the stairs, third door on the right.” one of Corneo’s lackeys calls out, not bothering to spare them a second glance as he turns back to his phone. Aerith gently takes Cloud’s arm and pulls him along.

He hates this mansion already, and he can tell from Aerith’s stone-set face that she does too.

He wakes up to Tifa and Aerith’s worried faces hovering over him.

“I’m going to kill them.” He grumbles as he sits up, hand on his forehead.

“Oh gods, that  _ is  _ you, Cloud. That make up- the dress-” Tifa leans back with a gasp, glancing at Aerith with wide eyes for confirmation.

“I know, nailed it. Thank you. Moving on.” Cloud gives her a stern look, but it clearly doesn’t work as Aerith giggles once again. It seems they’ve been awake a little longer than him, long enough to bat off the disorientation Cloud is feeling.

“Okay.” Tifa says with a smile that tells him she absolutely will not be moving on. “You’re very pretty.” That breaks the dam of Aerith’s giggles. Tifa turns to her and freezes, eyes wide and mouth partially open. She watches Aerith clutch at her sides in laughter. “You also look...very pretty.” Aerith’s laughter pauses and she meets Tifa’s eyes, hand falling from her mouth to smile. It’s a shy smile, the one she’d given Cloud upon first meeting him, but there’s a tint in her cheeks this time, a red to match her dress.

“So do you.”

Cloud stares at the exchange, fond amusement tugging at his chest, a sensation he’s still not wholly familiar with.

“As happy as I am to see friendly faces,” Tifa stands, brushing off the black dress that barely reaches her knees. “You two shouldn’t be here, it’s dangerous.” She frowns, the expression aimed at Cloud as she offers him a hand to stand. Aerith pops up to help and the two girls haul Cloud to his feet.

“We’re here to break you out.” Aerith says it with so much pep and confidence, it’s surreal.

“Might have to break ourselves out too.” Cloud turns to face the wall, looking up and down the room for anything of use. The entire room is filled with...contraptions. Cloud grimaces and turns back to the girls. “Why did you even come here?” He asks, he doesn’t know where to put his hands, the fabric of his corset feels too foreign to rest his hands on his hips and the sheer fabric of his sleeves feels weird when it makes contact with itself.

“Corneo sent men after AVALANCHE, I need to know why. I need to know what he knows.”

Cloud bites back a groan.

“Leslie said there’s-” Aerith pauses, glancing around the room for a quick moment before she lowers her voice to a whisper. “He said there’s another ex-SOLDIER in here who will help us.”

“Good, maybe he’ll know Cloud.” Tifa whispers back, tapping a finger against her chin in thought.

“Don’t count on it.” Cloud presses a hand against the cold, concrete wall. He misses the weight of his sword at his back.

“Whichever one of us is picked, we’ll still get the information.” Aerith says, ignoring Cloud entirely in favor of placing a hand on Tifa’s shoulder to comfort her. “We’ll beat him up a little and get out of here!” Cloud can hear the sweet smile on her voice, contrasting her words. Tifa laughs quietly, a sound Cloud is more than glad to hear. She’s been far too stressed recently.

“There’s no way out here.” Cloud tells them with a frown. Just as he turns back to them the doors burst open to reveal a couple of Corneo’s lackeys.

“Sorry for the whole sleeping gas thing, ladies.” One of them gives a mock bow. “If you’ll follow us to the esteemed and magnificent Don Corneo’s office where he will make his pick.” Tifa squares her shoulders and takes the lead, Aerith following closely behind. Cloud shoots the men at the doors a nasty look, earning him a laugh.

Cloud knows nothing of design, a given when looking at his apartment, but the Don’s personal touches are an abomination. There’s a massive floor to ceiling idealized portrait of the man himself. He’s illustrated with rippling abs, bulging arm muscles and a full head of hair. There’s a statue of himself in the corner of the room, reaching out dramatically. Cloud has to keep himself from scoffing.

“Hey, have we met before?” The guy Cloud realizes he recognizes from the colosseum bends down to get a better look at Aerith’s face. He can see the moment her smile turns strained as she shakes her head.

“Whatever.” He brushes it off, stepping away from them. “Introducing Wall Market’s most eligible bachelor...the one and only Don Corneo!” The man gestures to the doorway behind the Don’s desk.

The Don himself is underwhelming in every way possible. He’s shorter than even Aerith and his hair looks like a dab of toothpaste. The man behind him, however, is overwhelming in every sense of the word.

He’s looking down, fixing his glove with clear tension in his shoulders. Cloud feels Aerith stiffen beside him as he feels his own world halt and tunnel vision. His heart thumps painfully in his chest, his head filling with a slide show of the man’s face, picked from Cloud’s tattered and torn memories.

Zack finally looks up and immediately freezes, eyes flicking between Cloud, Aerith and Tifa. His gaze finally settles on Cloud, a twitch pulling as his lips as his eyes light up in realization. He crosses his arms and leans against the doorway.

“Hey, he’s a bodyguard, not eye candy.” The mohawk lackey snaps his fingers in front of Cloud’s face. Cloud shoots him a mean glare as he and the other lackey leave the room.

Cloud flinches as the Don suddenly appears in his vision. He grabs at Cloud’s arms, grunting and nodding like a pig at the muscles beneath the sheer black fabric.

He turns on his heel and announces that he knows who tonight’s bride is. Cloud is staring firmly at Zack. He feels like his knees might give out. He can’t tell if Zack is a manifestation of his hallucinations or- he doesn’t know.

“Tonight’s?”

“Pathetic.” Cloud feels the word slipping out before he can stop it. Corneo steps into Cloud’s space, prattling on about something or other, but Zack’s eyes meet Cloud’s and his ears ring like a gong.

Not the usual kind of his brain glitching in on itself, the bad and cold kind that leaves Cloud feeling like he was hit by a truck. It’s a ringing that makes his heart pound and fill him with warmth. He watches Zack as his hands clench and unclench and he takes a deep breath, eyes still on Cloud.

“I’m picking you.” Corneo grins, tugging at Cloud’s arm. “Leslie!” he calls out. “Get the other two outta here.” Cloud stands where he is as Leslie opens the doors, nodding at Tifa and Aerith to follow him. “Come on, baby.” Corneo tugs at Cloud again. He clenches his jaw as he rips his vision away from Zack to glare down at Corneo. He allows himself to be pulled forward and behind the desk. He pulls his arm out of Corneo’s as he passes Zack, not looking at the man as they pass him. He can hear Zack’s footsteps behind him as they walk.

If Zack is the ex-SOLDIER Leslie had meant then...he’s there to help them? But if Zack’s a figment of his cruel imagination, a trick of the light, then Cloud will have to rely on the girls.

Cloud nearly jumps out of his skin with a barely audible gasp as he feels a hand on his waist and a body closing in on his back. He doesn’t dare let his steps falter as Zack turns his face, lips brushing Cloud’s cheekbone and his hand comes up in front of Cloud. He’s holding a collapsible knife. Zack’s hand on his waist slides up as he slips the knife into Cloud’s bodice, it sits cold against his sternum.

And then Zack’s touch is gone, but the metal of the knife still presses into Cloud’s skin.

_ Real. _

\----

Zack stands outside the doors. He’s been counting the seconds since they closed.

He feels like he’s in a state of shock, like he could wake up any second. He’d been meticulously planning how he’d get to Cloud and Aerith while also saving the girls when...they’d just been standing there. It had taken Zack a moment to decipher whether Cloud was actually Cloud or if he’d been hiding away a twin sister.

He looks damn good in a dress though.

Zack feels like he’s vibrating. Cloud is in his grasp. He isn’t slipping through his fingers this time, Zack is hanging on.

Seventy-three seconds.

A shrill shriek of pain rings out. Zack takes that as his cue to throw the doors open. Corneo lays on his bed, holding his bleeding thigh in his hands, blood spilling around his fingers and onto the blanket. Cloud stands at the foot of the bed, knife out and dripping with blood.

“Get her!” Corneo jabs a finger at Cloud. Cloud turns, eyes wide as he looks at Zack, as though he’s unsure of what Zack will do.

“I think you missed his dick.” Zack says, looking between them as he lets the doors close behind him.

“Is that seriously the first thing you say to me?” Cloud asks, face curling into an achingly familiar scowl. Zack pulls Cloud against his side, hand playing with one of Cloud’s braids.

“You look amazing in a dress.” Zack tries with a grin. Cloud’s nose scrunches and an adorable blush spreads across his cheeks as he pushes half-heartedly at Zack’s chest.

“Fuck off.”

“You’re with her?” Zack feels Cloud flinch against his arm, face going sour.

“I’m with him.” Zack corrects. He draws his buster sword and points it at the Don. “Cloudy, can you tie him up so he can’t pull anything,” As soon as he says it he frowns, bouncing his foot a bit. “Also stay off this carpet. Trap door.” Cloud all but jumps back away from the carpet. He looks up at Zack for a moment before running to grab a length of rope from the curtain on the wall. He has to pick up his dress to move quickly and Zack wishes he could bask in how cute it is.

Cloud is finishing up tying the Don’s ankles together to keep him from running when the doors to his room open again. Zack doesn’t turn.

“Cloud!” Tifa runs into the room, followed shortly by Aerith, they’re both in regular clothing and Zack laments that Cloud is probably about to lose his own dress. “We have your sword and clothes.” Damn it.

“Thank Shiva.” Cloud grumbles as he stands and hands the knife to Tifa.

“Zack.” Aerith turns on her heel to face him with a hard look. “We’re talking about this later.” Zack makes a whine of complaint.

“What on earth-”

“Shut up.” Tifa shoves the knife in Corneo’s face menacingly. Her glare is enough to send chills down Zack’s spine.

“Um,” Zack turns to face Cloud who stands next to him, duffle bag in hand. Without him saying anything more Zack knows exactly what he wants. He lowers the tip of the buster sword to the ground, squaring his shoulders as he faces the blade away from his side, creating a small barrier for Cloud to change behind.

“You sent your men asking about AVALANCHE. Why?” Tifa demands more than asks.

“Seriously?” Zack turns his head to quietly ask Cloud, keeping his eyes on Tifa and Corneo. “I lose you for, what, two months and you join AVALANCHE?” He hears Cloud huff.

“They’re not the same as before. Also I’m not with AVALANCHE.” When Cloud steps out from behind Zack. He’s wearing the imitation of a SOLDIER uniform Zack had seen him in on TV before. Zack looks down and with a grin realizes Cloud had shoved the dress into the duffle bag with Tifa and Aerith’s.

Zack grabs Cloud’s arm as he turns to join Tifa, pulling him into a quick hug. He’ll have to save the longer one - where he fully intends to pick Cloud up and spin him around - for later.

“We’ll catch up when we get out of here.” He promises quietly. He feels Cloud nod against his chest, arms hanging awkwardly at his sides.

\----

The group is quiet, shocked and in horror as they walk away from the mansion. They’d handed Corneo off to Leslie, who’d been cocking a gun with a vengeful glimmer in his eyes that Cloud knew better than to inquire about.

“Hopefully he finds her.” Zack says quietly. Aerith makes a small noise of questioning. “Leslie. He hired me to help him subdue the Don to find out where the girls go...his Fiance was taken by Corneo a while ago.” They fall back into silence.

Cloud’s fingers tingle. He feels an overwhelming need to reach beside him and just touch Zack. To make sure he’s real. To make sure he’s alive.

The last he saw Zack he was bloodied and weak atop the cliffs outside Midgar. Cloud can’t remember anything past that until he woke up in the scrap yard on the outer rim of Midgar.

He doesn’t realize he was reaching out until his fingertips make contact with Zack’s arm. He seems to have abandoned his SOLDIER uniform in favor of a tank top with a light windbreaker, sleeves rolled up past his elbow, under his pauldrons and harness.

Zack turns to him with a soft look, one Cloud remembers. He remembers it all too well. It’s the look Zack would give him when he thought he couldn’t be seen, when he was offering a hand, when he made Cloud laugh. He catches Cloud’s hand in his own and holds it between them with a small smile.

“He...he was lying, right?” Tifa asks, coming to a stop. Aerith turns immediately, hands on Tifa’s shoulders.

“He could be. And if he wasn’t...we still have a few days before they act.” Aerith’s eyes are lit up with a determined fire. She glances at Zack with a quick, private smile. “The future isn’t set in stone. We can keep them from dropping the plate.” She gives Tifa a resolute look, like her word is law. Which it is, from Cloud’s time with her he can tell that much.

“We should regroup.” Tifa suggests. “I need to send word to Barrett and the others and...I could use some sleep.” She admits the last part quietly. She grimaces as she looks down the way, toward sector 7.

“Oh, I know just the place!” Cloud doesn’t like where Aerith is going with this. “ _ Cloud _ made a friend who would be happy to host us for the night.” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at him as he groans.

“What?” Zack asks, confusion evident on his face. Cloud sees a spark of something else, something he doesn’t recognize.

“Andrea Rhodea took quite a liking to Cloud.” Her smile is devious as she turns and leads the march towards the Honey Bee Inn.

“Andrea Rhodea, huh?” Zack asks, his hand tightening around Cloud’s just a bit.

“He just wanted me to dance and to stuff me into that dress.” Cloud averts his eyes, even as the neon comes into sight and the music from the Honey Bee is thumping down the street.

“Dance?” Tifa whirls around with wide eyes, letting Aerith’s hand on her arm keep her from colliding with anyone as she walks backwards.

“He’s so good at it, I think Andrea wanted to hire you on as a dancer.” Aerith giggles.

“Not a chance.” Cloud snaps with a scowl.

“Aw, not even for me, Cloudy?” Zack asks, pulling Cloud’s hand to his chest and bats his eyes at him. Cloud can see Tifa looking between them with an infuriatingly knowing look. She turns back around, looping her arm in Aerith’s.

“...No.” Cloud pulls his hand from Zack’s. He can feel his traitorous cheeks flushing as they reach the front door.

“Cloud.” Andrea stands at the door, grinning down at Cloud. He’s propped against the doorframe, an arm stretched up above him and his hip cocked out. “Bringing me the good news yourself?” He asks.

“We handed Corneo off to Leslie.”

“Oh good, he’ll be dead by morning. I’ll let Madame M and Sam know we’re up for a promotion.” Andrea stands upright to grab at Aerith’s hand and place a showy kiss on the back of it. “Aerith, very good to see you again. I see you two have brought friends.”

“We have!” Aerith sounds so cheery, as though they haven’t just escaped Corneo’s clutches and are discussing his death. “This is Tifa and Zack. We were wondering if you had any available rooms.” She puts on the biggest puppy eyes Cloud’s ever seen, even compared to Zack’s. “We don’t really want to walk all the way to sector seven tonight.”

Andrea looks charmed but not at all weak to her pout.

“I’ll always have rooms for my favorite dancer and his friends.” He waves them in with a wink in Cloud’s direction. “I will advise you, though. With the nature of our establishment - you know, honeymoons and rendezvous - we only offer rooms with a singular bed.” Cloud can feel heat curling up his neck. He looks up with wide eyes at Andrea before Aerith speaks for them.

“Oh, that’s fine. Tifa, will you room with me?” She asks, batting her eyelashes at Tifa who is just as red as Cloud feels. “The boys have a lot to catch up on, we can have a sleepover.” She gives Tifa a mischievous smile and Cloud thinks he sees steam coming from Tifa’s ears as she nods.

“That works out great, Aerith.” Cloud can hear the smile in Zack’s voice from behind him. He’s pulled backwards against Zack’s chest. Zack rests his chin in Cloud’s hair, arms locking around his torso.

Andrea’s eyebrows rise up and up as he looks between the four of them.

“Very well,” He turns to the desk receptionist. “Two VIP suites for our friends here.” The receptionist nods quickly and begins typing away at the computer. 

“Three and four are open!” The receptionist looks up with a smile as he places two key cards on the desk.

“I’ll escort them up.” Andrea grabs the key cards and turns on his heel and waves for them to follow.

Zack jumps forward as they reach the stairs, giving Tifa an innocent smile as he takes the duffle bag from her. She narrows her eyes in suspicion but allows him to carry it. Cloud marches ahead, unable to continue watching the exchange in favor of the anxiety roiling in his stomach. He feels his scowl soften as Aerith hooks her arm in his and gives him a reassuring smile.

The walls are yellow, less obnoxiously so than Cloud had assumed...but they’re still yellow. The walls are lined with a slightly raised honeycomb pattern and pictures of different dancers with name plates under them Cloud busies himself watching the pictures as they fade to pictures of clientele, posing with the honeybees and grinning widely at the camera.

They reach the end of the hall and Andrea stops, turning with his arms outstretched, a card in each hand.

“Here we are, darlings. Either side of the hall is the same.” 

“Cloud and I call the right.” Zack grins excitedly as he rushes to the door.

“He said they’re both the same, dummy.” Aerith rolls her eyes but she’s smiling as she pushes Cloud towards Zack. She grabs Tifa’s hand and pulls her to the left door.

Andrea smiles politely at them as he hands off the key cards. He gives a theatrical bow for Aerith and places a hand on Cloud’s arm, letting it linger teasingly as he passes and heads back down the hall.

“Get a lot of rest, we have a big day tomorrow.” Aerith says, a stern look pointed at Zack.

“Yeah, yeah,  _ rest, sleep,  _ all that good stuff. Got it.” He presses the keycard to the door and pushes in, duffle bag over his shoulder as he wiggles his fingers at the girls in a wave. “Come on, Cloudy.”

Cloud follows with no protests, letting Zack rest both their swords against the wall, still processing the last few hours.

He cracks when the door clicks shut behind him.

“You’re alive?” He asks, wincing at the sound of his own voice, small and fragile. Zack freezes, turning to face Cloud with a look of shock. The duffle bag hits the floor with a soft thud.

“Wha-...You thought I was dead?” He asks, taking a tentative step toward Cloud.

“I saw- I thought I saw...Yes! What else was I supposed to think, Zack?” His voice cracks as he feels tears forming in his eyes, burning and overwhelming. “I woke up again and there was just a pool of blood with your glove sitting in it.” Zack watches him quietly, a crease slowly forming between his eyebrows. “I thought Shinra had followed us all the way into Midgar and got you.” Cloud heaves a shuddering breath, finding his hands shaking.

Zack reaches forward and tugs Cloud into an embrace, knocking the air from his lungs.

“I’m so sorry, Cloud.” He buries his face in Cloud’s hair, a hand cradling the back of his head. Cloud finds the fabric of Zack’s shirt wet, realizing he’s crying into it.

“Where did you go?”

“I don’t know. I woke up in Aerith’s church and you weren’t anywhere to be found.”

Cloud sobs, an ugly, involuntary noise, and clutches the back of Zack’s jacket. His hands curl in the sheer material as he pulls Zack as close as possible.

“I’ve got you, spike. I won’t lose you again. I swear.” Zack’s voice is a whisper into Cloud’s hair, and somehow that makes Cloud sob harder. He doesn’t think his knees could keep him up if Zack were to let go.

But he doesn’t.

He moves his arms to wrap around Cloud’s waists and hoists him up. Cloud freezes as his feet leave the ground but he relaxes back into Zack’s chest. Zack spins him around slowly once, huffing a small laugh into Cloud’s hair before walking him over to the bed and placing him down on the side.

He moves to step out from between Cloud’s legs.

Cloud makes a pathetic noise, horrifying to his own ears as he refuses to relax his hold on Zack.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Zack gently pries Cloud’s hands from his jacket, holding them in his own. “I’m just going to put my armor down-” He takes a slow step from Cloud, watching him to make sure he won’t shatter into a million pieces. Cloud sits on the bed, letting his hands drop as he blinks up at Zack.

Zack pulls his harness, pauldrons, gloves and boots off to place next to his sword. He shrugs off his jacket, resting it on an armchair beside the door. He turns back to Cloud.

“Alright, armor thingies and boots off.”

Cloud snorts, a small sound, but it lights up Zack’s smile. He pulls at his gloves and pauldron, handing them to Zack while he undoes his harness. Zack drops to his knees in front of Cloud. Before he can ask Zack reaches forward to begin unlacing Cloud’s boots, a gentle touch as he pulls them off. He stands and takes Cloud’s harness to place beside Cloud’s own sword.

Cloud sits, watching him. He’s unable to do anything but stare, just taking in the fact that Zack is  _ here _ . He’s  _ alive _ . He’s promised to  _ stay _ .

Zack is back in his space within a second, a soft touch of his fingertips against the underside of his chin.

“What’s got your head in the clouds?” He asks, clearly pleased with himself at the pun.

“I just…” He lets his words hang, unsure of what he was going to say. He opts for reaching up to grab the bottom of Zack’s shirt, hanging onto the fabric like it will anchor himself to Zack. Like it will allow him to orbit around Zack.

“Alright. Come on.” Zack throws a knee up onto the bed beside Cloud and pushes gently at his shoulders until Cloud moves back to the center of the bed. Zack flops beside him and gathers him up in his arms, tucking Cloud under his chin. He makes a contented noise, a hum moving through his chest where Cloud can hear his heartbeat, loud and clear. “Reminds me of...ya’ know. When we were out on ‘the road’.” Zack says quietly. “It was cold out there, but you’re quite the little heater.” He tightens his arms for a moment in a hug.

“I remember you saying that.” Cloud says it before he realizes the truth behind his words. “I remember...flashes, but I remember you telling me I made a good heater.” He smiles into Zack’s chest at the memory of Zack’s hand in his hair, and his voice a comforting rumble.

“Yeah?” Zack asks, hand drawing soothing circles on Cloud’s back through his shirt. “What else do you remember, spike?”

Cloud hums in thought.

“Not a lot. Just flashes of you talking to me, feeding me, setting me somewhere safe before fighting monsters, and-” His breath hitches as another flash comes to mind. His hands tighten in Zack’s shirt.

“Cloud?” Zack asks, hand halting and voice worried.

“You love me?” Cloud asks, nearly choking on the words. He feels Zack stiffen.

“You heard that one, huh?” His laugh sounds forced. Cloud takes a steadying breath, keeping a tight hold on Zack. “Sorry, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, you can just...forget about that if you want. If you don’t…”  _ Feel the same _ hangs unspoken in the air. Cloud lets go of Zack’s shirt to push at his chest with a scowl. Zack looks terrified, which...is not where Cloud was hoping to go with that.

“You’re an idiot.” He says. Zack moves to untangle himself from Cloud but Cloud grabs his arms, pulling him back. There’s a fragile, tentative hope in Zack’s eyes. “I do. Feel the same.” He averts his eyes to the side, half debating grabbing the pillow under his head to smother himself with. The constant pounding in his chest when Zack would turn his attention on him back before all of this, the way his eyes had always found Zack no matter what, the way Zack’s smile lights Cloud up like a sparkler...it all leads to the conclusion Cloud had come to long ago.

They sit in a long stretch of silence, Cloud’s face getting hotter as the seconds tick by. He can feel Zack’s eyes on him but he doesn’t have it in him to actually look at him to see his expression.

He’s been... _ different _ since he woke up. The mako did something to him. He feels different. He’s not exactly sure how he was before but he can feel something has shifted in his demeanor. Tifa says he’s quieter and more sullen than he’d been when he left to join Shinra. He feels a power at his fingertips that he doesn’t quite understand how to control, a sure sign it wasn’t there before. Barret says he’s an ass.

He won’t blame Zack if his feelings for Cloud from before shift when he sees how Cloud is now. He’s not even sure how he, himself, feels about who he is now.

“Cloudy. You’re going to think a hole through that pillow.” Zack’s voice is soft and full of a fondness that has Cloud feeling like he might cry again. Zack gently takes Cloud’s chin in his hands and turns Cloud’s head to face him. Cloud reluctantly moves his stare to Zack. “Why do you look like you’re scared of rejection? I said it first.” He gives Cloud a small smile, one that tells Cloud he’s trying to crack a joke. He tips Cloud’s face up, just a bit closer to his.

“You said it months ago.” Cloud frowns.

“I stand by it now. Always will.” He moves his hand from Cloud’s chin to bop the tip of Cloud’s nose. “You’re cute when you pout, but I’m hoping for more of a smile.”

“How can you say stuff like that. None of us know what’s going to happen in the future.”

“No, we don’t. But we’ll be alright.” Cloud huffs at his response. “So I’ll say it again, I love you, Cloudy. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, even if you keep pouting and harrumphing at me.” Cloud nearly huffs again but catches it at the last second, knowing Zack would only tease him. Zack runs his thumb across Cloud’s cheekbone in comforting circles. “Are you gonna’ say it back?” He asks, giving Cloud a lopsided smile that makes his heart do a flip.

“I’m...in love with you too, Zack. I have been since we met.”

Zack pulls him close. He searches Cloud’s face for a moment, giving him ample time to duck out if he so wishes. Cloud doesn’t move. He lets his eyes fall shut as Zack leans in.

His lips are soft and warm. Cloud makes a small noise, he’s not sure why. He’s not surprised by the kiss. Cloud tenses as Zack’s lips move, catching his bottom lip between them.

“Cloud?” Zack asks, voice soft, as he pulls away to give Cloud a look of concern.

“Sorry, I just- Can I try that again?” He asks, frowning.

“Was that your first kiss?”

“No!” Cloud’s voice is too loud, too defensive. He takes a small breath. “I’ve kissed Tifa.” Zack’s brow arches, more in amusement than discomfort. “We were thirteen and it was a dare.” He feels the need to explain anyways. Zack tips his face back up.

“Hey, that’s not a bad thing. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Cloud gives him a doubtful look.

“It’s not like there was much time to practice as an infantryman.” He grumbles, unable to turn his face away as Zack’s hand slides along his jaw.

“I know.” Zack tells him, an achingly sweet smile and fond look in his eyes. “I’m going to kiss you again, if that’s okay.” Cloud gives a small nod.

He’s more prepared this time, he parts his lips slightly with a small gasp as Zack tilts his head.

“Just follow my lead, spike.” Zack whispers against his lips. Cloud winds his arms around Zack’s neck, burying his fingers in black spikes as Zack kisses him. He makes halting, unsure movements, allowing Zack to guide them.

He jumps as Zack nips at his bottom lip.

“Relax, Cloudy. If you’re not feeling it we can stop.” The thought of  _ not _ kissing Zack scares him more than his inexperience being on full display. He pulls Zack back in, slamming their lips together with a painful clack of teeth. Zack hisses but he’s laughing as he pulls back a bit, just enough to put the kiss back at gentle.

Cloud focuses on following Zack’s movements, pushing when he pulls and pulling when he pushes. Zack heaves himself up, slowly turning Cloud on his back. He props up his elbows on either side of Cloud. Cloud keeps his hold on Zack firm, knocking the outside of his knee against Zack’s hip, in an attempt to keep him close.

Zack shifts his weight to one side in favor of placing a tentative hand on Cloud’s waist. Cloud tenses at the touch, causing Zack to pull his hand away like he’s been burned. Cloud scrambles to grab Zack’s wrist.

“No, you...you can...do that.” He murmurs, closing his eyes once again as he pulls Zack’s hand back to his waist. Zack smiles into the next kiss he presses against Cloud’s cheek. He can feel the warmth of Zack’s hand through his shirt. His thumb nearly reaches Cloud’s belly button as his fingertips dance over Cloud’s ribs. A small noise slips out of Cloud. He twitches as Zack runs his hand up and down Cloud’s side, his touch a gentle whisper that lights Cloud’s nerves on fire.

He doesn’t think a simple touch is supposed to feel like this.

When he opens his eyes Zack is watching him closely, head propped on his hand.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…” Cloud nods but his head is starting to buzz at the edges. “‘S a lot.”

“Too much?”

Cloud shakes his head, letting his eyes fall shut.

“Feels good.”

Zack’s hand slides to the center of Cloud’s stomach, fingers spreading out.

“I guess you weren’t really awake to soak in a year of cuddling.” Zack presses another kiss to Cloud’s cheek. “Got a lot of time to make up for, Cloudy.” Cloud hums contentedly.

\----

Tifa eyes them as they leave their room, her gaze searching. Zack is pretty sure he knows what she’s looking for but she won’t find it.

He knew Cloud was bound to be at least a bit touch starved but he hadn’t been expecting the magnitude of it.

They’d spent another hour kissing, Zack watching him shudder and listening to his breath hitch at just a touch over his shirt.

Tifa turns, her face lighting up as Aerith joins them in the hall and pulls the door closed behind them. Zack smirks, just long enough for Tifa to scowl at him.

Zack hikes the duffle bag over his shoulder as his other hand reaches for Cloud’s.

“You still have that?” Tifa asks, her nose scrunching.

“Hell yeah, they’re expensive dresses, I’m not just chucking them.” Zack shrugs. He knows at least Aerith will want hers back. Cloud is silent next to him. “Besides, you never know when you’ll need a corset.” He clicks his tongue with a wink.

Aerith makes a noise of disapproval and smacks Zack square in the chest. Zack laughs as they start down the hall to the stairs. When he looks beside him he realizes Cloud is bright red, but he’s got a small smile curling on his lips and it’s the best sight Zack’s ever seen.

He thinks everything has been worth it if it’s led him back to Cloud. Besides, he and Cloud can be a power merc couple now!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, the destruction of clothing, and some feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The promised sex that I thought would take way less time to write lmao  
> Gender affirming language is used for Cloud-  
> Also the re-appearance of the blue dress 😏 (Cuz I'm trans and I'll put Cloud in a dress as often as I want!)

Cloud is anxious. He doesn’t know what reaction he’s going to get. He knows it won’t be _bad_ or anything. Even if Zack, somehow, miraculously, isn’t into it even after not-so-subtly bringing it up about a billion times he’ll probably still go along with it. Even though Cloud is one hundred percent sure Zack is going to be into it.

The anxiety persists.

They’ve been increasingly intimate since they reunited. Cloud is honestly the happiest he’s ever remembered being; smiles come easier, laughing doesn’t feel like a betrayal. There’s a massive weight lifted off his shoulders now that Zack’s back.

But they still haven’t gone “all the way” as Zack would probably put it. Mostly because Cloud’s skin still feels like Zack’s touch is lighting fireworks along his every nerve whenever they begin anything. But Cloud has steeled himself this time. He’s determined not to get overwhelmed.

Cloud picks at the deep blue fabric of the skirt as he sits on the bed in their apartment, impatient.

The corset rubs oddly at his ribcage but he supposes he should get used to it if he’s going to be in it for the next...little while here.

He doesn’t bother with the heels or the hair extensions. Even if he wanted to, he can’t find them. He thinks the hair extensions probably ended up on the muddy ground in Wall Market and he can’t imagine they would add anything to what Zack sees in the outfit. And the heels have been long since handed off to Jessie who had been practically bouncing off the walls about it, but not without a round of teasing over her and Cloud being the same shoe size.

Cloud doesn’t know how to position himself. He doesn’t know if he should be standing or already laying down. He doesn’t know if he should greet Zack at the door or just stay where he is.

He’s still deliberating when the front door clicks open.

Cloud can hear his heartbeat in his ears as Zack shuffles around by the front door, putting his sword and bag down. He’d been off on a solo merc mission while Cloud had been helping Tifa around the new seventh heaven. She had caught him by the ear the second Zack had left, claiming she was cashing in a favor.

“Babe?” Zack calls into the apartment.

“Yeah.” Cloud calls back, hands fisting into the fabric of his skirt. He winces at the crack in his own voice.

There’s a moment of silence before he hears Zack kick off his boots and make his way to the bedroom, a slight urgency in his steps.

“Cloud, is everything okay-“ He freezes as he opens the door, his jaw hanging open.

“Welcome home.” Cloud tries with a smile that feels more like a grimace.

Zack’s eyes move over Cloud’s entire form, from his head to his feet and back up again.

“You look so uncomfortable.” He looks apologetic which is the opposite of what Cloud wanted.

“I’m not uncomfortable.” Cloud argues, frowning. “Nervous.” He admits.

Zack moves to kneel in front of Cloud at the bed, his hands on Cloud’s knees, an action that sends a jolt through Cloud’s thighs and to his lower stomach.

“Nervous about what?” He cocks his head and Cloud can imagine floppy dog ears falling to the side with the movement.

“I wanted...I want to...” Cloud shifts, feeling his face go hot. His words stick to his tongue, reluctant to leave in the face of his embarrassment. “I want you.” He finally spits it out, staring intensely at Zack, waiting for a reaction.

“You want—“ Zack blinks at him before a slow and nearly blinding grin spreads across his face. “Spike, you didn’t need to dress up for that.” His words say one thing but the way his eyes roam over Cloud says he’s definitely not opposed to it.

The fabric of the skirt bunches and pulls against the fishnet as Zack slides his hands up Cloud’s thighs over the dress.

“I thought you’d like it.” Cloud’s voice sounds entirely too choked and breathless for his liking.

“I do. I really, really do.” Zack is watching him carefully.

Cloud knows their sex life has been bordering on painful for Zack. Cloud’s been able to explore all he wants, learning what touches pull Zack apart, perfecting how he takes Zack in his hand or his mouth. While Zack has dutifully kept his hands to himself in fear of overwhelming Cloud, fear of misstepping.

Cloud wants to fix that. He wants to put himself in Zack’s hands entirely.

“Don’t worry about me.” Cloud says as he hooks his foot behind Zack’s back and pulls him between Cloud’s legs, chest nearly flush with Cloud’s stomach. Zack’s fingers dig into Cloud’s lower thighs as he stabilizes himself. Cloud can feel the heat of his hands through the fabric and he thinks he can already feel himself going mad.

“Are you sure?” He asks, tipping his head up. Cloud leans down to meet him, pressing a slow kiss to Zack’s lips.

“I’m sure.”

Zack surges up to kiss him again, hooking his hands under Cloud’s thighs. He lifts Cloud off the bed as he stands, leaving Cloud to clutch at his shirt for dear life. He’s gently laid back in the center of the bed, head falling against the pillows as Zack settles in between his bent legs. The skirt has hiked itself up to Cloud’s knees, bunching as it threatens to slip farther.

“Can I?” Zack asks, fingertips playing with the hem.

“Only if you take off your shirt.”

Zack squints down at him with a grin. “You drive a hard bargain, Strife.” But he sits upright and yanks his shirt over his head. Cloud settles back to watch the way Zack’s muscles shift in his arms and chest as he moves and tosses his shirt aimlessly away from their bed.

Cloud reaches up on instinct, running his hands over Zack’s chest. Zack smiles indulgently at him as he comes down on his hands, one planted on either side of Cloud.

He gives Cloud a moment to admire the hard planes of his chest, various scars littered across the skin, before he goes for Cloud’s neck.

Cloud gasps, tilting his head back, fire running up his every nerve as Zack’s lips meet his skin.

“Zack.” His voice is louder than he means it to be as Zack grabs his thigh, pushing his hand upwards and under the skirt.

His nails gently rake across Cloud’s skin, dragging bits of the fishnet with them.

“Fuck.” Cloud bites down on his lip as Zack sucks a mark where his neck meets his shoulder, the collar of the dress pushed off to the side as Cloud struggles to pull it down and off his arms.

Zack pulls back suddenly as his hand reaches Cloud’s hips, eyes burning with something fierce.

“Really?” He asks, grinning as he hooks a finger into the fishnet to push at Cloud’s bare skin underneath.

Cloud can feel his cheeks heating up as he does his best to scowl.

“They were uncomfortable.” He says. “And it didn’t feel appropriate to wear boxers under all this.”

Zack presses a hard and hurried kiss to Clouds lips as he pushes at the skirt to pool around Cloud’s hips. He runs his hands up to Cloud’s waist, sitting back to look over the sight before him.

Cloud knows he probably looks like a mess, skirt hiked up to reveal everything, a furious blush up his neck and cheeks, nothing on under the fishnet.

Zack gives the corset a small frown.

“How tight is this?”

“Not at all. I had to tie it up myself,” Cloud replies. Zack’s responding grin tells him all he needs to know about his train of thought.

“So you’d be okay with leaving it on?” He quirks an eyebrow, hands running down Cloud’s sides to meet his bare hips. Cloud jerks at the contact.

“Yes.”

“And the dress?”

As Zack speaks his fingers make their way along Cloud’s skin to the inside of his thighs.

“Yes.”

Cloud’s voice wobbles, legs all but trembling at the simple touch.

“And you’d be okay with me buying you a new pair of fishnets as a replacement?”

“Wh- Yes? Why?”

The response he gets is Zack hooking his fingers into the fishnet and yanking, tearing the fabric holding together the crotch of the tights.

It’s...a lot hotter than Cloud cares to admit.

“Oh.” Cloud breathes the word, hands fisting in the fabric of his skirt. He shifts his hips, somehow feeling more on display than he already was.

“Are we sure it isn’t my birthday, ‘cause it sure feels like it.” Zack grins, a cheeky expression as he hoists one of Cloud’s legs up over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his calf. Cloud squirms as he fists the sheets.

“I’d have put on a bow if it was.” Cloud shoots back with an unamused frown.

“Oh, so I have something to look forward to as well.” His smile dims for a moment into slight concern. “How much do you think you can take?” The question is quiet and it makes something in Cloud feel like he’s melting.

“I-” He falters as he thinks over his answer, focusing on Zack’s thumb running soothing circles on the backside of his thigh, even as the muscle jumps under his touch. “Not a lot.” He admits, finding his breath coming heavy and Zack hasn’t even done anything. “But I want you, I can take that much.” A quick flash of worried doubt flits across Zack’s eyes before he nods.

“It’s okay if you can’t tonight. We have all the time in the world.” Zack leans forward, shoulder pulling Cloud’s leg up until he swears he could headbutt his own knee, to press a sweet kiss to Cloud’s lips. “I don’t want you pushing yourself farther than you can go.”

“Zack.” Cloud digs his fingers into Zack’s hair to keep him where he is. “Fuck me.” He can feel his face heating up. “Please.”

At least Zack looks like he’s been smacked upside the head with the dazed look he gives Cloud.

“Oh gods. Cloudy, babe, please say that again.”

Cloud’s nose scrunches as he makes a groan of protest.

“Zack, come on.” His breath hitches as Zack’s hand moves along the inside of his thigh, towards the rip in the fishnet.

“What was that, I didn’t quite hear you?” Zack asks with a smile, pressing a kiss to the corner of Cloud’s mouth.

Cloud cries out, fingers tightening in Zack’s hair while his other hand flies up to grab at the pillow beneath his head, as Zack’s fingers dip into the wetness that’s been building up since Cloud had the idea to surprise him.

“Zack! For the love of-” He grits out, ready to punch Zack in the stomach with how slow he’s going. He doesn’t apply pressure, just keeps his fingers basically hovering. Torture. “Please.” The word comes out as much more desperate than he intends it to. Drawn out and needy rather than demanding and stern. Zack presses another kiss to the corner of his mouth as he sinks a finger into Cloud. Cloud sighs loudly, head falling back into the pillow.

Zack’s fingers are thicker and longer than his, not by much but just enough to feel the difference.

“You good, spike?” Zack asks quietly, his lips against Cloud’s cheek. He nods, unable to pull words up to respond. He feels Zack’s smile before his finger moves, pushing in as far in as he can go and then drawing it back out torturously slow.

“Fuck,” Cloud hisses out. He has no leverage with his hips, he suspects Zack did that on purpose, so he’s left at Zack’s mercy.

Zack pulls away to sit up, allowing Cloud’s aching leg to drop from his shoulder and back to the bed. Cloud has a split second of relief before he realizes this change in position allows Zack to drive his finger back into Cloud, harder and faster. Cloud lets out a choked noise that turns into a whine.

“More.”

Zack gives a searching look. He meets Cloud’s eyes and Cloud tries to channel as much determination into the look as he can muster. He wants - No, he needs Zack to know that he can take it, even if his chest is heaving and his thighs are trembling.

Zack is beyond careful as he pushes a second finger in alongside the first. Cloud can take it. He focuses on his breathing as he tells himself it’s not too much more than two of his own fingers. Zack gives him a moment to adjust before he scissors his fingers. Cloud reaches for Zack, satisfied when Zack takes his hand and pins it back down to the mattress. Cloud clutches at his skirt with his other hand, keeping the fabric bunched above his hips.

“You doing okay, spikes?” Zack asks softly. Cloud swallows heavily and nods, unable to gather up the brain power to speak. “Gods, you look so good like this.” His eyes roam down Cloud’s form, a downright hungry look in them that sends a shiver up Cloud’s spine. “You’re going to look even better on my cock.” He grins smugly as Cloud’s hips buck up against his hand. He curls his fingers forward, watching Cloud thrash against the sheets. “You want that, Cloud?”

Cloud makes a strangled noise, nodding his head. There’s a pressure mounting in his core and he knows he isn’t going to last long.

“What was that?” Zack asks. Cloud has half a mind to knee him in the stomach.

“Yes!” Cloud cries out through clenched teeth, rutting his hips in time with Zack’s fingers. “Fuck, Zack!”

He can feel Zack staring at him as he screws his eyes shut, thighs shaking. His grip on Zack’s hand squeezes, he’s half sure Zack’s going to have bruises from it, as his spine goes rigid. He cries out a jumble of a swear and Zack’s name as his orgasm washes over him. Zack fingers him through it, hand slowing to a lazy pace that draws small whines and twitches from Cloud.

When Cloud catches his breath he blinks his eyes open to find an almost reverent look on Zack’s face. His lips curl into a wide smile as their eyes meet.

Zack swoops down to kiss Cloud, cutting off the dismayed noise as his fingers leave Cloud.

“One second.” He promises before reaching over Cloud to their nightstand and pulls the second drawer open - Zack’s drawer - to dig through. “Here we go.” He sits back up with a condom in hand and a bottle of lube. Cloud instinctually flushes at the sight of the lube, remembering when Zack had first gotten it. They’d spend that night with Zack spread open on Cloud’s fingers.

Cloud covers his face, digging the heels of his hands against his eyes as he focuses back on his breathing. He can hear Zack fumbling to undo his pants. At Zack’s annoyed huff Cloud drops his hands and watches him attempt to kick out of the offending garment in fond amusement.

Cloud arches his back and works to untie the strings of the corset, if only so it will sit looser than it already does. When he settles back down he finds Zack watching him, hand slowly moving over his dick. When his eyes meet Cloud’s he pulls his hand away from himself to grab at Cloud’s waist, pulling him closer.

“Love ya’.” He whispers, leaning in to press a peck to the tip of Cloud’s nose.

“I love you, too.” Cloud gives him a lazy smile, letting Zack manhandle him until his legs are wrapped around Zack’s lower back. He can feel Zack’s length against his inner thigh.

“Alright, I need you to relax.” Zack tells Cloud. He takes himself in his hand and lines himself up with Cloud. Cloud nods, taking a deep breath.

Zack is slow and verging on frustratingly careful as he pushes in. Cloud’s breath hitches at the initial stretch. Zack is definitely thicker than his fingers had been. Zack’s mouth hangs open as he watches himself enter Cloud.

It’s a long minute that feels like hours before Zack bottoms out, bracing himself over Cloud with his hands on the mattress. Cloud reaches up, cupping Zack’s face in his hand. Zack responds with a small smile, he turns his face to press a kiss to Cloud’s palm.

“How are you doing?” He asks.

“Full.” is the first word Cloud can think of. Zack gives a soft huff of laughter. “It’s a lot...but it’s a good ‘a lot’.”

“Tell me when you’re ready for me to move.”

Cloud nods, shifting his hips as he adjusts. Zack hisses quietly from above him, a hand grabbing at his waist. Cloud can feel his grip through the fabric of the corset.

“Two seconds,” Cloud tells him, running his hand up Zack’s arm to feel the muscles there.

“Take your time, Cloudy. I’m honestly just enjoying being inside of you,” Zack says.

Cloud scoffs in embarrassed disbelief. “Oh Ifrit, don’t say shit like that.” He rolls his eyes but Zack’s smile is infectious.

After another moment he feels like he can truly relax, that it’s no longer a stretch. He nods, giving Zack’s bicep a squeeze.

“Okay, you can move.” Cloud meets Zack’s eyes with a small, reassuring smile. Zack sits up a bit, placing his other hand on the other side of Cloud’s waist.

Cloud is entirely unprepared for the feeling of the first thrust. Zack pulls almost all the way out before he rolls his hips back against Cloud’s in one fluid motion.

Cloud moans, hand flying up to cover his mouth, and his back arches off the bed. Zack pauses immediately, drawing a whine from between Cloud’s fingers.

“You okay?” Zack asks, tone worried and hesitant.

“Yes!” Cloud gasps, moving his hand from his face to grab Zack’s wrist. “Keep going. Don’t stop.”

Zack gives another hesitant thrust of his hips. Cloud can feel his eyes on him like a hawk, watching his face, watching the way his breath hitches.

It takes a while for Zack to be convinced that Cloud is fine, but when he is Cloud is rewarded with his hands pulling Cloud up for a new angle as he rolls his hips without restraint.

Cloud scrambles to reach up, digging his fingers into Zack’s hair and pulling him down to press their foreheads together.

“Fuck, Cloud. You’re incredible,” Zack’s voice is breathless. “Feelin’ good?” He asks, nudging his nose against Cloud’s. Cloud nods frantically, little gasps escaping him in time with Zack’s hips.

“Feels amazing.” He all but hiccups the words out.

Zack steals what little breath Cloud has left with a sloppy kiss. One of his hands slides down to Cloud’s upper thigh, slipping his fingers under the fishnet as he grips Cloud with a force just this side of bruising. Zack kisses along his jaw and down his neck, sure to leave marks as his teeth dig into the sensitive skin there.

“Ah!” Cloud jolts at the bite, bucking up against Zack. He claws at Zack’s back to ground himself, to feel Zack under his fingers. “H-harder.” He bites out through the mortification the request brings. Zack braces his knees wider, pulling Cloud’s legs apart even farther before he grants Cloud’s wish. He grips at Cloud’s hips to keep him from sliding up, last thing either of them need is for Cloud to hit his head. The ball of pure heat in Cloud’s stomach is growing and growing, pushing at its confines and making his whole body tremble.

Zack moans, a deep and rumbling noise, and tucks his head into the crook of Cloud’s neck. Cloud can feel the vibrations from Zack’s chest rattling through his own.

“Cloud…”

“I know.” Cloud doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed over the breathy waver in his voice. He can feel Zack’s hand inching across the top of his thigh. The pad of Zack’s thumb catches on the underside of Cloud’s cock.

Zack’s hips falter as he focuses on circling his thumb. The double stimulation has Cloud moaning loudly and uncontrollably. He tightens his legs around Zack’s lower back.

It’s mere seconds before Cloud is digging his fingers into Zack’s shoulders.

“Zack, I-” He’s cut off as he bites his own lip.

“Come on,” Zack whispers, punctuated with a sharp thrust. “I wanna watch.”

“You just did.” Cloud bites out, all but thrashing against the pressure in his chest and stomach.

“Never gonna get used to it.” Zack presses a quick kiss to the corner of Cloud’s mouth. “Please?”

Cloud doesn’t know if it’s Zack’s plea or the overwhelmingly fond tone in his voice that pushes him over the edge.

Cloud comes with a shout, his head falling back and his eyes screwing shut. Zack’s hips stutter and slam against him before Zack falls still, chest heaving. Zack collapses on top of Cloud, face buried in Cloud’s neck. Cloud reaches up to run his hand through Zack’s hair. He shifts a bit, nearly wincing at the odd feeling of Zack softening inside of him.

“Zack…” He trails off, frowning. His neck feels wet. “Zack?”

“I love you. So much.” Zack’s voice wobbles and his arms tighten around Cloud. His next breath comes in on a shudder.

“I love you too…” Cloud falters in confusion. “Are you crying?”

Zack nods. “Sorry.”

Cloud’s frowning for a completely different reason now, any physical discomfort immediately forgotten in favor of worry.

“What? Why? Are you okay?”

Zack lets out a wet laugh and pulls himself up to rest his forehead against Cloud’s.

“Sorry, I’m just glad you’re here.” His voice is a whisper. “I lost you and I thought it was for good, but you’re here.” Cloud cups his face in his hands. Cloud opens his mouth and is met with Zack sitting up, shaking his head. His eyes are still red and he looks like he might shatter at any moment. He slips out of Cloud and pulls his condom off, tying it off and tossing it into the waste bin under their side table. He offers a hand to Cloud, attempting a smile. It’s a sad mockery of an old memory Cloud has of him, frayed at the edges and fuzzy apart from Zack’s eyes. Cloud takes his hand and allows himself to be pulled upright where Zack undoes his corset the rest of the way. When the skirt and ruined fishnets are pulled off as well and thrown into a haphazard pile on Cloud’s desk chair Zack falls against him once again.

“Zack...you know you can talk to me, right?” Cloud asks hesitantly. Zack nods and takes another deep breath.

“Yeah, I know, Cloudy.” He runs a gentle hand through Cloud’s messy hair. “C’mon. We should clean up.” Cloud gives Zack a concerned look but follows him anyways.

Their shower is short, even if Zack uses it as an excuse to press Cloud against the cold tile, silencing his surprised gasp with a kiss.

Cloud watches him closely as they towel off. Zack grins and jokingly asks if he can carry Cloud back to bed but there’s a desperate look in his eyes.

He blinks in surprise when Cloud nods. It takes a moment of deliberation but when he does agree it’s with full confidence.

“Wait, really?”

Cloud nods again. He has a feeling Zack could use any extra physical contact he can get, he’s always done better with physical reassurance than verbal.

Yet, It still doesn’t stop Cloud from nearly shouting in surprise when Zack scoops him up, an arm behind his back and another arm holding up the backs of his knees. Cloud takes a small amount of pride in the fact that Zack has to put actual effort into carrying him back to their bed.

“Zack,” Cloud starts as they fall back into their bed, Zack immediately curling himself around Cloud like an octopus, pulling the blankets over them. A conflicting mess of concern and adoration bubble up in Cloud’s chest. Cuddly Zack is far from rare - more of a nightly occurrence - but it still always feels like a tug at Cloud’s heart.

Zack hums in response.

“Please talk to me,” Cloud says. He feels Zack stiffen for a split second before he pulls his head away with a soft smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes until he’s looking directly into Cloud’s.

“I’m fine, babe. How are you feeling?"

Cloud scowls and presses his hands against Zack’s cheeks, pressing in to squish Zack’s face. It’s beyond cute but Cloud’s hope of figuring out what’s wrong outweighs his want to kiss Zack’s puckered lips.

“You’re not. You started crying immediately after sex.”

Zack seems to struggle for a response. "I just missed you. I didn't mean to cry." His words are distorted as he speaks through squished lips

“You know…” Cloud begins to pull up and card through all of the advice he’d gotten from Tifa, Aerith, and even Zack since arriving in Midgar. “It’s okay if you’re not okay. I want to help. I want to know when you’re sad, or angry, or scared.” He slowly lets up on Zack’s face, keeping his hands on either side of his jaw as Zack’s expression melts. "You don't have to wait until it literally explodes, even if you're going to insist that was happy crying."

Zack seems to think for a moment, eyes searching Cloud's face before he lets out a deep, shaky sigh.

“I was so scared, Cloud.” His hold on Cloud tightens. “After I lost Angeal I-” He shakes his head and turns to bury half of his face in the pillow under their heads. Cloud’s heart drops in sudden understanding. “It was just you. I only had you. And you weren’t even technically there.” Cloud listens silently, running his thumb in slow patterns over Zack’s cheekbone. He wants to wrap Zack up in his arms and just hide away from their past, but that wouldn’t do either of them any good. “I just- I feel like at any moment you’re going to fade away and I’ll lose everything all over again.” There’s quiet tears spilling onto the pillow as he blinks them away. “I’m scared I’m going to wake up in that fucking tank watching you helplessly.”

Cloud pulls Zack’s face against his collarbone, fighting back the emotions welling up in his own throat. Zack hiccups quietly as he nuzzles against Cloud’s skin. Cloud goes to run his hands through Zack’s hair, a motion he’s found comforts the both of them.

“I…” He falters, unsure if anything he can say will truly comfort Zack. But he has to try, doesn’t he? “You’re not going to lose me- any of us.” He says quietly. “You don’t have to keep trying to support the rest of us when you’re scared.” He can feel Zack’s steady breaths. “I don’t know how...how to fix it. Because I’m still scared and sad too. But—” He pauses, taking a deep breath and pushing down his own tears. “But it’ll be easier if we’re helping each other.”

“I don’t know how to ask for help.” Zack admits, his voice soft and fragile.

“Wake me up when you have nightmares,” Cloud tells him immediately. “Hold my hand when you get scared.”

“And if I can only be placated by fucking you into our mattress and then crying?” Zack says. His words are teasing, much too light for Cloud’s point. Cloud smacks at his shoulder, sure his face is red.

“Stop deflecting.”

Zack laughs quietly. “No, I...I’m serious. I don’t think it hit me until right then that our lives are still...fragile.”

Cloud scowls, hating the idea. “I have not spent almost a year working as mercenaries with you—for you to call us fragile.” 

“You know what I mean.”

“We’re allowed to be fragile,” Cloud shoots back, tone final and resolute, frowning deeply. It seems to surprise Zack. “It’s not a weakness and it just means we’ll have to stick together so we’re stronger.” Zack pulls away once again to look at Cloud, eyes red rimmed but a soft look in them. Quite honestly, it’s physically painful for Cloud to see Zack so broken down, but as long as his smile is more genuine he supposes it’s all for the best. "And you're always allowed to cry during or after sex. Just make sure it's happy crying."

“That sounded really close to a proposal.” He’s clearly teasing but Cloud doesn’t find the humor in it.

“You said you’d never abandon me. I’ll never abandon you either. I’m here forever, Zack.”

Zack blinks in shock.

“I guess anyone who tries to separate us is in for a world of hurt, huh, Spikes?” Zack asks, face softening into a fond smile.

Cloud scrunches his nose at the nickname. “They can fucking try.” He scoffs.

When Zack leans in to kiss him in the dark of their shared bedroom it feels like sealing a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zack: I've come here to nut and cry, and I've just finished my nut.
> 
> Comments/kudos are much appreciated! If u wanna get updates for the next fics/just see me scream about Clack (and Aerti and Gensephgeal...) I can be found at Cloudspuppyeyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally it was all gunna be one chapter but...then I kinda went on the Touch Starved Cloud tangent so...the sex will be in chapter 2, which I'll post in like a week or so.
> 
> My twitter is Cloudspuppyeyes if anyone wants to join me in laying on the floor and crying over Zack Fair (also cuz I have like 2 other Clack fics in progress rn)


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